Kentucky Fried Press
Due to hidden sex scenes that can be unlocked through player pages, Kentucky Fried Basketball will now carry a rating of M for Mature. The American Fantasy Basketball Ratings Commission and the U.S. Congress are currently looking into whether the makers of Kentucky Fried Basketball hid the scenes to garner a more teen-friendly rating.
Hakeem Olajuwon's mosque was accused of funding a Middle East charity that was actually a front for the Al-Aqsa SPAM Brigade. This organization has been on federal watch lists for some time, and is suspected of hijacking the servers of anti-SPAM vendor, SpamCop.
"These averages go up and down, up and down all week long until I feel like I've been on a freakin roller coaster. I'm puking, convulsing, my blood pressure is rocketing."
"Grant Hill, Basketballer - a man barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to make the worlds first bionic man. Grant will be that man. Better than he was before. Stronger. Faster."
"I see myself as a sixth man, no wait, a relief pitcher. The kind of guy you bring in for the fourth quarter to shut down the other team. All these minutes, I feel another knee injury coming on."
"When Boozer walked out the door, it really hit me how this is just business. I started asking around shortly thereafter to see how much I could get for the team."
The Colonel held a press conference outside KFBA headquarters to discuss a new Kentucky Fried Initiative to expand the customer base. The Association will offer potential owners free midseason teams in hopes they become addicted to Kentucky Fried basketball.
