Watching team scores calculated by KF Averages so disgusted a Cleveland man that he has sued the Kentucky Fried Basketball Association for $1.3 trillion, saying he can no longer stomach looking at its boxscores.

A crayon-scrawled four-page lawsuit filed in federal court in Cleveland on Tuesday stated, "These averages go up and down, up and down all week long until I feel like I've been on a freakin' roller coaster. I'm puking, convulsing, my blood pressure's rocketing. Last night I felt so lightheaded that I fell of my couch and cracked my head into the coffee table. Worst of all, I had a chick over at the time. First chick I've had over in three years. The Colonel's paying out the nose for that. I'll own the whole damn KFBA!!!!!!!"

The Colonel has reportedly offered a case and a half of Yuengling Lager and a blowup female companion to settle the case on behalf of the Association. The Cleveland man is said to be considering the offer.