The Colonel held a press conference outside the KFBA's Baltimore-based office to discuss a new Kentucky Fried Initiative to expand the customer base. The Association will offer potential owners free midseason teams in hopes they'll become addicted to Kentucky Fried basketball.

"Hopefully our product will have all the positive characteristics of crack, and these guys will have to return every 5 minutes to get a fix."

When asked what effect the leagues would have on future membership, the Colonel responded that KFBA hoped the trial leagues would increase the customer base by 100%. When it was pointed out that would equal only 20 new players, the Colonel quickly revised the figure to 10,000%.