Around the Bucket - All-Star Edition

For the second consecutive year the powers that be screwed up the All-Star game scoring. Why would the Colonel make rules he doesn't follow? Beats the *crack cocaine* out of me.

But no worries here. In the Original Recipe League, the Empire's crushing defeat of the KeyStoner All-Stars (if you allow me the liberty of calling them such) was so complete and overwhelming the Pennsylvanians would have needed 46 points out of the vacated C2 slot to overcome it. With FOUR players posting averages in excess of 1.200 for the NY reps, it was clear the Penn crew showed up for the free booze and women and had zero interest in playing anything resembling Kentucky Fried defense. A preview of the upcoming OR championship no doubt, when championship titles are sure to get evened up at four a piece as the Empire once again humiliates PA.

Wade Takes Kentucky Fried Contenders down with him

Even as Mr. Dwyane Wade rewarded JCPeery with a POG worthy 1.309, the Provo GM set about sidelining the superstar as soon as he had played enough minutes to qualify for the All-Star game. He waited until the second week and recruited Shane Battier from the OR waiver wire as his henchman, in order to make it look like an unfortunate smelting accident. Then he gleefully crushed Wade's shoulder into a million little pieces. And he did that laugh that evil guys do for good measure.

Mr. Peery's unscrupulous tactics dealt a powerful blow not only to the Brocheese' championship aspirations but to fantasy contenders around the globe. Yes, Wade has been so incredibly resilient this season, he has carried every single team that took a chance on him into contention.

With a KF leading Average (1.166) and an NBA leading PER (29.86), he was poised to grab undisputed best player status and nab the MVP in both associations with a second half surge. The storybook ending will have to wait until next season.

How the Brocheese ended up with Kevin Martin

In a desperate attempt to end Provo's perfect season and needing a major move to make up for the loss of superstar Dwyane Wade, the Brocheese leveraged a surging Mehmet Okur (5) into a tail spinning Kevin Martin (13) and furiously tried to pawn the long-term keeper off on the league's perennial doormats for frontline starters. But the last minute dealing was to no avail. Now Baltimore must rely on youngsters Andrew Bynum and Kevin Martin to mature quickly and carry starter loads into the playoffs.

So far Bynum responded to the pressure by posting a lowly .219 in first game back, while

T-Mac called in sick with the flu. Yes Ladies and Gentlemen, the Brocheese' season looks poised to end in spectacularly crashing fashion, sending me into a downward spiral of emotions from which I may never recover! Of course there's always next season...

2007 Kentucky Fried All-Stars

Centers

Forwards

Guards

Most Points Scored by an All-Star Team

Original Recipe'sNew York All-Stars (jcpeery) scored a commanding 273.15 points in their domination over the Pennsylvania All-Stars (ciwasko) who fizzled out at 227.77.

Least Points Scored by an All-Star Team

Turnpike'sWestern All-Stars (freelanceobgyn) barely mustered 215.08 as they were trounced by the Eastern All-Stars (gstroh) who posted a 247.39.

Most Combined Points in an All-Star Game

Hamster Has No P's battle between The Mean Bean All-Stars (zzRay, 269.64) and The Daily Grind All-Stars (cbblitz77, 263.75) had a combined score of 533.39.

Least Combined Points in an All-Star Game

Bleague's match up between Iverson All-Stars (zzRay, 232.68) and Marbury All-Stars (trantony, 227.21) struggled to produce a score of 459.89.

Closest All-Star Game

In a true fight to the end, Kung Fu Grip's match up between Yankee All-Stars (crazydave, 252.82) and Dukes of Hazard All-Stars (mharris3, 252.08) was won by a margin of 0.74.

KFBA All-Star Records by GM (2007)