With due apologies to the kind and gentle peoples of the Kentucky Fried Basketball Association, week 13's Around the Bucket arrives with slight delay. Your favorite Kentucky Fried correspondent crossed the pond and spent the weekend in the land of Coffeeshops celebrating his 30th with the freaky deaky Dutch. After four days of hard partying his brain's not quite up to snuff (and may never be) but hey, at least I'm back!!!
Playing for Gold
With the trade deadline fast approaching and the regular season almost complete, contenders are frantically shopping their second rate keepers in hopes of shoring up their starting lineups. Where do you stand? If your team can't put up a 220 on a regular weekly basis, you pretty much got no chance. And if you don't have enough depth you won't be able to overcome the barrage of injuries that are sure to take out a key member of your lineup. When is Yao coming back? Is Baron Davis out for the season? The reality is you won't know until they play, so you better have a Marcus Camby or Tony Parker ready to step in and take their spot.
The Original Recipe title will likely be fought amongst two Empire Conference teams in the second round of the playoffs. JCPeery's notorious (and evil) Provo Jomegamen feature four 1.000+ players (three of which are currently playing), a barrage of .900 bigs backing them up and Chris Paul. My very own Brocheese, for their part, surround four 1.000+ players (three of which are currently playing) with some mid .800 role players. Whether Carlos Boozer is ready for the Brocheese come game time or Yao Ming recovers in time to start for Provo will likely have the biggest effect on the outcome, but these two squads can bash just about any other team without them.
Ciwasko's Oscar Robertson will find little resistance in the first two rounds of the playoffs and should easily sail through as the Key Stoner rep in the title game, thanks to some deft off season trading that landed them the three first rounders (Melo, AI and the great Gilbert Arenas) that have fueled the team all season. They have some mid .800 players backing Melo up at Forward and will have chance because anything can happen once you're in the championship game.
The fourth best team in OR, Gstroh's Cyclones stand pretty much no chance as they would almost certainly have to beat the Brocheese, Provo and Oscar Robertson in succession. One four digit player and a couple of .900 guys just aren't enough to get it done in this new era of Kentucky Fried Basketball.
In the loveable B-League, the championship race has also come down to three teams. ZZray's Hard Rain's Falling have been the front runners all season, having accumulated four 1.000+ stars and Ray Allen. Injuries to Bosh and Yao have slowed the team down in the second half, but with those two back they should be back to their dominating ways come playoff time. In the Iverson conference they'll face some comp from Younggod's Sunshine Megatron which rolls with three four-digit superstars, a half a dozen mid .800 complementaries and a Diesel stashed away at C2. If they make it past Megatron they'll be facing Trantony's Sengir Vampires - who surround Dirk Nowitzki with a trio of four-digit guards - for the title.
In the Greatest Show, the number one ranked Manteno Jake-a-moles field a deep team, filled top to bottom with solid mid .900 players, but rely on a single super star (Dirk) to shoulder the scoring load. Will they be able to match up with a Jackie Robison squad that fields four 1.000+ stars, as well as Emeka Okafor and Ben Gordon? I'll list Jackie Robinson as a -170 fave for their second round match-up.
The Oinktown Flying Pigs and DAGO BARWHORES face a battle of attrition in the Big Top conference, where the team that fields the most qualifying players come playoff time will earn the right to lose the title to Manteno or Jackie Robinson.
Things are wide open in the Turnpike. Sans a dominant team, Freelance's DAGO REDEMPTION, Gstroh's Fort Myers Blue Streaks or Osupatrick's Columbus Buckeyes could easily win it all. DAGO is on one end of the spectrum, with a deep squad and a single superstar, while Fort Myers is on the other with three bona fide four-digit players, but an ugly complementary cast. Ultimately any playoff bound team in the Pike can grab front runner status with a couple of solid star-for-keeper trades over the next two weeks.
Sugarraygus' Naptown Shaven Yak looks headed for heavyweight title match with Jcpeery's Happy Valley Voles in the world famous Sugar Ray. The Yak - who line up three legit 1.000 stars with an excellent supporting cast - have averaged 229 ppg over their last three games. The Voles - who back up two four-digit players with Vince Carter and Elton Brand - have averaged 243 ppg over their last three games. Chrismccool's Brighton Truth have played strong all season, but are too weak at forward to match-up with the league's powerhouses.
Who's Hot
Dwyane Wade (MIA) - 1.351 (114 minutes)... Has officially "lapped" LeBron James...
Kobe Bryant (LAL) - 1.220 (123 minutes)... Back to his old self, chucking up 25 shots per game...
Pau Gasol (MEM) - 1.189 (106 minutes)... Fast paced basketball leading to regular 30 point games for the Spaniard...
Shaquille O'Neal (MIA) - 1.146 (48 minutes)...Shaq loves playing 20 minutes a game...
Elton Brand (LAC) - 1.124 (121 minutes)...Grabbed 19 boards in game against Celtics...
Mehmet Okur (UTA) - 1.108 (111 minutes)... Averaging 19 shots per...
Jamaal Tinsley (IND) - 1.102 (98 minutes)...Scoring up a storm thanks to 56% FG shooting...
Gerald Wallace (CHA) - 1.094 (160 minutes)...Four consecutive hot weeks have 30 day humming at .969...
Ray Allen (SEA) - 1.079 (126 minutes)... .927 YTD would be 31 year-old's career best...
Joe Johnson (ATL) - 1.036 (167 minutes)...Back on track...
Josh Smith (ATL) - 1.033 (121 minutes)...Riding a .991 30 day thanks to almost 10 boards per...
Chucky Atkins (MEM) - 1.013 (80 minutes)...Breaks four digits after three consecutive mid .800 weeks...
Andre Iguodala (PHI) - 0.975 (121 minutes)... Who's loving life without AI?...
Antonio McDyess (DET) - 0.969 (64 minutes)...YTD .712 / 30 Day .925 = time to move him back into your lineup...
TJ Ford (TOR) - 0.963 (54 minutes)...Successfully returns after two week break...
Luol Deng (CHI) - 0.960 (100 minutes)... 21 year-old continues to improve...
Tim Thomas (LAC) - 0.947 (94 minutes)...29 year-old has a lucky week...
Ron Artest (SAK) - 0.940 (117 minutes)...A force when he shoots over 50% from long distance...
Paul Millsap (UTA) - 0.917 (84 minutes)...A force when he gets any playing time...
Kirk Hinrich (CHI) - 0.915 (117 minutes)... Always does better in the second half of the season...
Deron Williams (UTA) - 0.902 (112 minutes)...Helping Okur carry scoring slack from Boozer's absence....
Nene Hilario (DEN) - 0.896 (106 minutes)... Finally finding his groove...
Darko Milicic (ORL) - 0.890 (109 minutes)... It's Darko time!...
Jose Calderon (TOR) - 0.884 (95 minutes)...Best PG in Raptors uniform?...
Maurice Williams (MIL) - 0.867 (150 minutes)... Average might suffer when Michael Redd returns...
Brandon Roy (POR) - 0.848 (145 minutes)...Good week for Roy, now needs consistency...
Not so Hot
David West (NOH) - 0.606 (137 minutes)...West has been terrible since returning from prolonged absence...
Zaur Pachulia (ATL) - 0.600 (105 minutes)...Eesh! Single handedly killed any team playing him at C1...
Andre Miller (PHI) - 0.592 (103 minutes)...Philly honeymoon over...
Marvin Williams (ATL) - 0.590 (144 minutes)...May be as good as Darko... someday...
Andrei Kirilenko (UTA) - 0.589 (90 minutes)...Sucks even in Boozer's absence - either he's hurt or he peaked awfully early...
Hakim Warrick (MEM) - 0.585 (65 minutes)...Notable down week amongst several good ones...
Adam Morrison (CHA) - 0.570 (121 minutes)...Shot under 40%, just like every other week...
Tyrus Thomas (CHI) - 0.556 (18 minutes)...Maddeningly inconsistent...
LaMarcus Aldridge (POR) - 0.548 (84 minutes)...A rough rookie class...
Luke Ridnour (SEA) - 0.524 (63 minutes)...At least he improved from previous week (.430)...
Martell Webster (POR) - 0.411 (56 minutes)...Sucks...
Beno Udrih (SAS) - 0.385 (13 minutes)...Sucks big time...
Hassan Adams (NJN) - 0.333 (24 minutes)...Wishes he could suck big time...
Perfect Records
All four of the Association's perfect teams chalked up another win in week 13.
Top Scores from Week 13
